Donut Try This At Home

 

The-Krispy-Kreme-Challenge.pngFor reasons you can only wonder at, there’s been for the past 12 years, an event in Raleigh NC that sorely tests the concept that some people are – as they’re most certainly not – qualified to gain places as students at North Carolina State, a misnamed kindergarten, it would seem.

The event is the Krispy Kreme Challenge charity race – destined, without a doubt, to provide an entry to DarwinAwards.com. The web site follows a book about people who remove themselves from the gene pool through acts of utter stupidity.

The ‘challenge’ is supposed to be, according to its website, “a student run, charity-based race.” Student run can, of course, be interpreted two ways: As a race run by students, or one organized by students. One of this year’s entries more than likely was organized into the event, to his family’s eventual regret.

He – who hasn’t been identified, publicly – was 58. Like his fellow challenge-takers, was intent on running 2.5 miles, then downing a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, then carrying on for another 2.5 miles. Doubly sadly (if you like Krispy Kreme donuts, which probably were created by a cardiologist anxious for more patients), our man didn’t make it beyond the first mile. Meaning, he didn’t cross mile point 2.5, at a Krispy Kreme shop, and collect his dozen donuts.

At age 58, with chest pains during that last mile of his, he should have reckoned it would be wholly risky for him to proceed. An exkreme risk, you could say.

The Facebook page for the challenge, funds from which go to North Carolina’s Children’s Hospital, said:

“We regretfully confirm that a participant of today’s Krispy Kreme Challenge has died.

“He was transported by EMS to Rex Hospital where he was pronounced dead. We are deeply saddened and wish to convey our heartfelt condolences to his loved ones.”

Indeed.

Maybe, should this odd tradition be continued, it should be limited to college-age individuals, an unfortunate number of whom are likely to expose themselves to the risk of consuming, as this challenge requires, 2,400 calories within one hour. Still, they’re far more like to be up to the challenge than is today’s typical 58-year-old.

May he rest in peas, not flour- and sugar-based concoctions.

 

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