Real Orgasms Heard In An Online Library


What do orgasms sound like? Amazingly different, from each other – and probably even a lot different that an orgasmic person imagines. Because in the midst of experiencing one, who pays a whole lot of attention to that detail?

Bijoux Indiscrits, a company specializing in sex-related toys, ointments and similar items for women, contends that a lot of what women know about sex – too much, in fact! – stems from their experience, first-, second- or third-hand, from porn. And the supposed orgasms one hears in a porn flick are anything but real.

So, Madrid-based Bijoux Indiscrits came up with the idea of creating a sound library of real organisms, submitted through their website (scroll down for the sound library) by ‘ordinary’ woman who, as even they may be surprised to learn, make some pretty amazing sounds when they experience an orgasm. Sounds that can be translated into visual images that, in real time (in synch with the sounds), show the intensity of the woman’s aural reactions to largely (if not entirely) involuntary vaginal contractions as she reaches the height of sexual pleasure.

(To demonstrate that and the fact that orgasmic sounds often are created separate in time and space from the onscreen porn action and dubbed in later, a Bijoux Indiscrits film clip shows a woman faking one while sitting in front of a microphone, filing her nails!)

An AdWeek article on this topic said, apparently quoting Bijoux Indiscrits, “Some 23 percent of Spanish women have never, or almost never, succeeded at achieving orgasm during sex. Most feel so much pressure to do so that 52 percent of women sometimes fake it, and 12 percent always fake it.”

Bijoux’s partner in the library-creation project, Proximity Madrid, invited woman to anonymously upload recordings of their orgasms to a specially-created website, and more than 100 individuals did so in the week after the project was launched. While those first 100 orgasms were listened to 110,000 times, Proximity Madrid says that, so far, the project has generated media exposure to some 10 million people.

When your client is a company selling sex toys et al, that’s not bad.

When many in the listening audience — which by now no doubt numbers collectively in the hundreds of thousands, if not more – are simply curious, it’s undoubtedly true that some visit the site for inspiration.

Among those viewing the library in the latter way – not to mention she was writing a story about it – is AdWeek’s Angela Natividad. A ‘reveal’ at the top of her article said that she’s “pretty sure the orgasm sounds I make with partners have been influenced by porn,” adding, “Now you know more about me than my doctor does.”

While that’s probably way more than her doctor wants to know, that remark reinforces Bijoux’s contention that their orgasms library is clearly an extension of the ‘service’ the company provides to its clients.

Who could argue with that?


The Worst of All Ways To ‘Get Tanked’



Photo: The Daily Beast

From the ‘Strange Bedfellows’ Department: Herman Rowland, Sr., who chairs the California-based Jelly Belly Candy Company, is far from ‘all candy, all the time’: He loves to restore history military vehicles, including tanks, and has a private museum to show them off near the company’s Fairfield, CA headquarters.

But a tragic accident there recently may have given him reason to stop allowing visitors to the museum – formally known as “The Tank Barn” – to get up close and real personal with some of his hardware, particularly his tanks.

One of them ran over and killed a man there last summer. The resulting ‘wrongful death’ civil suit against Rowland and his daughter, company CEO Lisa Brasher, says that when the tank driven by Lisa’s husband, Dwayne Brasher, killed Kevin Wright, that negligent act not only orphaned Wright’s two daughters, it also took away his family’s bread-winner.

Brasher was maneuvering a World War II-era M5 tank at the time.

That 16.5 ton machine is said to be a particularly difficult object to maneuver, not least because the driver’s visibility is limited.

Tank crew training stretched – even in the midst of World War II, when it was important that replacement personnel and equipment be readied in short order – over weeks, many weeks, in some instances, as crews moved from one type training terrain to another, perhaps more than 100 miles from the previous one.

Brasher reportedly had no training in operating the M5.

Well, somebody at Jelly Bean Candy is going to have to get some training, if Herman Rowland succeeds in modifying one to shoot bags of jelly beans – a project The Beast reported this week he’s working on.

‘Reminds me of the long-ago Quaker Puffed Rice commercials and ads that declared the cereal was “shot from guns.” It actually was, during a promotional event at an early-20th-Century World’s Fair, when Quaker was working hard to get its new product the maximum of attention from the consuming public. (Beyond that event, though, the ‘shot from guns’ concept was a twist on a manufacturing process that resembled shooting the rice from guns.) These days, of course, people would call the company on such shooting because of the potential residue from the shooting accelerant!

(By the way, for a trip down memory lane – or an education in cereal advertising from decades long past – be sure to check out that Quaker Puffed Rice commercials link!)



TV’s Ad Problem: Top Actors Are Grossly Overpaid


The world – a very small part of it, at least – is agog this week as the television behemoths spend untold as-yet unearned dollars trying to entice advertisers to continue ‘business as usual’ – spending obscene billions of dollars to advertise products that, sadly, all too often provide far less than they offer. As do (most of) the television shows they advertise on.

For the second or third year running, both advertisers and show producers – as well as the networks and indies that will air those shows – are bathroom-visiting scared, because more than ever, viewers are able to by-pass traditional commercials as they watch what they want to when they want to, zooming through commercial breaks as they do so.

The ‘industry’ – all the above named working in concert – are toying with a model that would probably so piss off viewers that they’d give up on some shows they’d really like to watch. That model would enable advertisers to sponsor ‘bits’ built into shows, supposedly made to seem to have some relevance to them, to reduce the number of advertising breaks yet still get advertising messages to the madding crowds who, cold drinks and popcorn in reach (or not!), do their best night after night to test the long-term reliability of their couches or lounge chairs.

Amazingly, the potential advertisers and their agencies who are attending lavish, star-studded  presentations and parties in New York City this week seem to be unaware of the concept of almost-ad-free ‘streaming’ as offered by Netflix and others.

That is one of two things that is killing the ‘traditional’ TV role in U.S. society. The other is the totally outrageous sums being offered and paid to principal actors.

I watch a select few shows (most) every week – being able, somehow, to find better things to do with my time.  Many of them are Dick Wolf’s, shows that are, as he said in a recent interview, “intended to be able to go on for [many] years],” without a lot of fine-tuning and window-dressing.

One of Wolf’s most successful-ever shows is Law And & Order/SVU, recently renewed for a 16th year. It’s leading light, Mariska Hargitey, rakes in at least $400,000 for each episode – plus residuals on most if not all previous shows. So, her base pay works out to $8.8 million per year, according to! And amazingly, ten actors are paid more on a per-episode or annual basis, with the top TV earner, according to this accounting, being Judge Judy, who pulls down a cool $47 million a year!

I often wonder how Hargitey maintains her sanity as she’s struggled through being held captive, nearly killed (in numerous ways) too many times to count and, perhaps worst of all, having to confront, in her scripts, the worst-imaginable (and sometimes unimaginable) evils of adults who abuse other adults and, the very worst of all, the scum who abuse children.

SVU, as the show is commonly called, has an amazing ability to present, on sadly too many occasions, stories based on something that ‘just happened’ – within a few weeks of an episode’s initial airing.

It is a brilliantly conceived, amazingly well-acted show.

But $400 thousand an episode? Is that really necessary?

If television and its advertisers want to take a serious step toward solving a problem plaguing both of them, they would trim performers’ salaries back to something closer to a ‘reasonable’ level. Say Hargitey was cut to $125 thousand per episode. That’s still something like $4.4 million per year – for roughly half a year of work! Is that really necessary???

Ultimately, advertisers are at fault, because they accept the outrageous rates set by networks and, increasingly, independent channels.

Let’s face it, the public is going to continue to gravitate toward the watch-when-you-want model, both because that fits their lifestyles and because they are sick and tired of being constantly being bombarded by too-loud commercials. (And why that issue has never been addressed by the FCC is a criminal-level mystery!)

Enough is enough!

Spaced Out: NASA ‘Finds’ 1,284 New Planets? And We Should Care Because …?


With an unending number of life-saving and life-style problems (not to mention war-caused ones) yet to be solved on this planet, assorted governments are unconscionably spending incredible sums of taxpayer (and looted) dollar/dollar equivalents on space exploration.

Regardless of how young you are, it is highly unlikely that your grandchildren, or even your great-grandchildren, will somehow – in any way – see a result from all this effort that may, just may, prove to be a benefit either to the survival of the human race and its environment or to solve the question ‘where did we, all of this, come from’.

Think of it this way: Say you’re a 25-year-old parent; your child becomes a 25-year-old parent, who becomes a 25-year-old parent. That first grandchild of his or hers first-born would arrive in the year 2066 – a mere fifty years from now.

NASA things we should have great hopes for those of that age.

I think they’re nuts!

Some are excited that NASA has ‘found and verified’ the existence of 1,284 new planets. I cannot comprehend what they means – given that the nearest of then is way beyond the pack-a-lunch range. Way beyond, in fact, any distance man could travel in a lifetime, as we know it.

NASA speculates there may be another ‘world’ among that mass of objects; A world that may be somewhat like our own. (There are increasing reasons why that fate should not be wished on anyone, anywhere!)

And we should be spending hundreds of millions – or more – to ‘prove’ that’s so, and then plan to spend even more trying to determine if, as popular songs have asked, “is there life out there”. . . why?

I considerable myself to be fairly liberal. But I’m a bend-over-backwards conservative when it comes to wasting tax payers dollars on space exploration.

Look up. Enjoy the view of the stars – and perhaps a planet or comet or two – and consider it to be, as it is, an un-understandable feature of the universe you live in.

Then go back to imaging how you, as an individual, might contribute, or add to, the richness of this world.

This is a world wracked with problems – with starving people, with failed or failing economies, with diseases that could, with enough funding behind them, be stopped, or cured.

Still, millions are spent on super telescopes and other means of exploring that vast void beyond us; Millions that might better be spent, in whole or part, on dealing with earth-based issues.

Might be, and should be!


Drink Up America! (AKA Budweiser)



Belgium-based InBev, which purchased Anheuser-Busch several years ago, is temporarily renaming one of the U.S.’s (and the world’s) best-known beers – from Budweiser, to America. The so-called ‘king of beers’ will wear its new moniker from late May until sometime shortly after America, the country, elects its new president in November of this year.

As well as replacing the word Budweiser with America on cans and in advertising, the six-month campaign also will see the ‘king of beers’ slogan replaced by ‘E Pluribus Unum’ (out of many, one), which also appears on U.S. currency; the A-B crest on cans will be supplanted by ‘US’; the trademark will be altered to read ‘Indivisible since 1776’, and the words to ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ will be displayed at the top of the once-and-future Budweiser label.

Ricardo Marques, a vice president at Budweiser in St. Louis, where the beer has been brewed sicne the 1880’s, told The New York Times that the move is designed to reflect a growing sense of national pride, and that this will be “probably the most American summer of our generation.” That’s so, the paper noted, because, “Along with the traditional spring and summer holidays — Memorial Day, Independence Day and Labor Day, this summer will bring the Olympics and the Copa América soccer tournament, to be held in June at sites throughout the United States.”

Mr. Marques told The Times he has no doubt consumers won’t be confused when they see the ‘new’ label: “We have no doubt that consumers will recognize it in a heartbeat,” he said.

‘Automated Voyeurism’ Invites Sellers into consumers’ homes



Product manufacturers have found an exciting new way of tracking consumer interests and practices. It is, an advertising agency president told the New York Times, “like automated voyeurism.”

Numerous entities advertise on Craigslist and elsewhere for people to take surveys and get paid for doing so. Some of those ‘opportunities’ are, no doubt, more or less on the up-and-up.

Well, you can bet good money that the likes of Chicago-based Pay Your Selfie are not just legit, they are the wave of what undoubtedly will become a trend among companies producing and advertising FMCG – Fast-Moving-Consumer-Goods – items.

The system works like this: Consumers are invited to take ‘selfies’ while they do such ordinary tasks as brushing their teeth – displaying in front of them a package or container of the sponsor’s product. Say, Crest Toothpaste.

The photos are computer-scanned to ensure they feature a legible face (and the appropriate product), then passed on to the sponsor, who then credits a small amount – perhaps $.20 to as much as $1.00– to the consumer’s account, then uses that and many other photos to assemble data on the time of day people use the product, how they do so (lots of foam, for example, while tooth-brushing) and even how they are dressed at the time.

Among other things, this data can suggest good times to advertise products, or settings to use as backgrounds for ads, or even who actors in the ads should be dressed to ‘mimic’ the behavior of members of the intended audience.

One thing discovered by Proctor & Gamble, the maker of Crest Toothpaste, is that there is a surge of tooth-brushing going on between 4-6 p.m. – suggesting people are anxious for fresh breath as they embark on ‘happy hour’ activities. This suggests the company could be well advised to promote its product on social media to coincide with that surge.

Consumers can take a one-time or periodic cash-out from one of these programs after accumulating $20 or so in their accounts. The system is set so no one can ‘double dip’ – get two photos credited for the same activity on a single day.

Aparna Labroo, a professor of marketing at Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management, told the NYT that because people participating in this picture-taking activity are in a private place, they are more likely to behave in an ‘authentic’ manner than may be the case when they are participating in a group study or another more ‘observable’ situation. Therefore, their actions are more likely to be believable, at face value, and thus more valuable to product manufacturers and advertisers, Ms. Labroo says.